Monthly Archives: September 2010

“He EVEN has a cute laugh”

I’m officially an 8th and 9th grade teacher.

Last year I taught 7th grade and this year I’m helping out in three 7th grade math classes per week. Besides that, this means that the majority of my daily human interactions in life are with 14-16 year old girls. Last week, and the last couple of days, have made me realize how ridiculous and funny this situation can be.

Let me first start by saying that I know very well that I’m no Leo Dicapprio , Zac Efon, or even the werewolf dude from Twilight (Taylor Lautner, – of course I know his name). But one thing about these young women at the all-girls school is that some of them really like the young male teachers. I fit the description I guess.

Last year a bunch of the little sixth graders would giggle at me in the hallway. They would get really shy or awkward when I came into one of their classes or said something to them. During basketball, when we would put out hands in the middle after practice to do a pump-up chant, I would get disturbing pinches and touches on the hand before I had to yell, “please nobody touch me girls”. Yes, there were some interesting drawings and writings on the bathroom stall that seemed to be a bit more mature , but for the most part, the crushes on me were so innocent and funny last year.

So far this year, with the older kids, it has been so much more – how do I describe it….uncomfortable. The last few weeks I’ve been meeting a lot of the new 8th and 9th grade students. I would have to say that some of the excited looks in their eyes have been plain old creepy.

So this brings us to today, in my class with 8 students in it. I’m in the middle of reviewing parts of speech – the standard “adjectives describe nouns” routine that everyone seems to forget every week. After the craziest one of my students (who has zero control over her nonsensical outbursts) finally gets to me and makes me break my attempt to stay serious, everyone in the room overhears the loudest whisper ever.

“He’s EVEN cute when he laughs!”

The class then of course breaks out into an uproar. The girl follows by obliviously saying,

“Oh do you think he heard me?”

The crazy girl proceeds to fall out of her seat and roll on the floor screaming at me.

“Mr. K you KNOW its funny! You KNOW its funny! Don’t you try to not laugh!”

All I can do put my hand over my mouth, laugh, and realize that aside from the five minutes of class time we’ve wasted on this gigglefest, I’ll probably have many more moments like this this year. That is, unless I can give them enough homework or call home enough to have some of my crush-ies turn on me.


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Quick flashes from the first week of school.

A few quick things. I’m in the middle of my first full week of work and my second full week of going to graduate school classes on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I haven’t posted anything since September 4th and I’m realizing how hard it is to keep up. I will definitely write a nice post soon, but in the meantime hear are a few snipits from this week already:

Monday, September 13.

Period 2: An unsuspecting teacher passes by Room 405 to find that an unknown student went potty inside (and outside) of a trashcan in the corner of the unoccupied room during first period. Reminder: This is a grade 6-9 middle school.

Period 3: Two janitors arrive. The Vice Principal and I try to figure out how this was able to happen on THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

Period 4: The janitor who sadly does not have the ability to smell, conveniently mopped up “the accident”. The investigation is ongoing. No more words to describe this little surprise story.

Wedneday, September 15. One of our new Science teachers, a really nice guy, gave a small assignment to his little 6th graders. The question was: “What is science? Please write your own definition”. One of the girls handed in a five or six sentence paper on Wednesday at the beginning of class. The Science teacher shared the paper with me today. Here is an actual excerpt:

Science envolves the envirronment. Science can be fun. Science (from the Latin scientia, meaning “knowledge”) is, in its broadest sense, any systematic knowledge-base or prescriptive practice that is capable of resulting in a correct prediction, or reliably-predictable type of outcome. Science is thesecond album by American alternative rock band Incubus, released on September 9, 1997.

Lastly, while on the train home from grad school last night with one of my roommates, I decided to start another club on Tuesdays for the kids (and make some more $). I already do the sports clubs once a week (Soccer in the fall) but I had this crazy idea to teach some children how to play scrabble. I’m not even a scrabble fanatic but I just tried to run with it. I submitted the club application and now I have to recruit some non-insane students to hang out with me and triple word score each other. Check out the flyer that I apparently wasn’t allowed to tape up on the walls.

Scrabble Mania Flyer

And here is a picture that has nothing to do with anything else (for those of you who only click the link to the post to look at the pictures).

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Teaching Adolescent Girls: Year 2 Begins

So it’s been over a week since I last posted. I’m just turrible at this. I promise it will get better. I promiseeee. I’m not just joking around anymore friends. Alright, fine, I am. But still, I’ll give this site a little more of my time than I have been.

School starts this upcoming Wednesday and it’s going to be a crazy new year. Last year I taught a class of 7th Grade girls (about 20 of them ages 12-15) and essentially followed them around from class to class co-teaching with the English, Math, and Social Studies teachers of the 7th Grade. Oh yeah, I also was there first thing in the morning and last period for AM and PM Homeroom. Needless to say I was basically a little classroom Dad to many of them. This means that every day, I had the job of making their lives harder by making them do their homework and attempting to make them behave like respectful humans. They had the job of making me want to pull my hair out by not wanting to successfully do those exact things.

I wish that I had written down some of the things that I heard on a daily basis, but I would get “No offense, Mr. K, but I HATE YOU!!!!”, when I kept them for after school for homework help or called their parents. Sometimes I would walk in the room after one of their science or art classes (which I was thankfully not a part of), to the entire class going “OH NO! him AGAIN!”. The sentiment was a regularity, and I think that over time, they developed a really funny sense of trying to make me upset and messing with me. Pretty smart girls eh? Anyways, most of these girls needed a lot of help with their organization, reading, writing, and math. I hope that I helped them progress a little (although it always feels like you’re failing miserably).  That was last year – but this year there are some big changes.

Here is a funny picture to relax you brain from reading all of that. Hopefully after looking at the picture, you will read on.


I don't know why, but I want a Krispy Kreme immediately.


So this year, in short, me and my two other Special Education teachers at the school are going to do far less co-teaching of lessons in front of classes. This year we are going to do more “pull-out”, which is the creatively named process of “pulling” girls with special needs or learning disabilities out of their general education classes. We will work on doing extra work on either reading, writing or math with them in smaller groups.

This means that my world is going to be completely different. I’m excited for the change but there might be fewer acts of random yelling  at me, and less frequent temper tantrums that I have to deal with. That means less funny stories… Still, I’ll have the responsibility of supporting 12 or 15 individual students, ranging from 6th grade to our new 9th grade (High-Schoolers – yikess). I also have a sweet looking 7th grade elective class called “Current Events”. So I’m sure the classroom fun will continue. Alright, until next time.

Future post idea include a retelling of the “Mr. New Booty” incident of sexual harassment from last year, a telling of, and possible posting of some funny bathroom graffiti related to me from last year, and some stories about some of the incidents where you could say the water boiled over and the students lost their minds at school. All of this, and more to come, especially if everything at school next week is peaceful and uneventful. The chances of that happening are slim.


This picture should be used as a metaphor for something that was unfulfilling. In this case it is just a funny picture.


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